the eve of medical school

(source: @pavybrar instagram)
(source: @pavybrar instagram)

I sit here on the eve of medical school in my semi-furnished apartment, my wrists ache from a day of CPR training and I’m on my 5th orange in desperate attempts to rid myself of this rotten cold (and yes I am aware Vitamin C is water soluble). I should be in bed at the moment; however, if their is one event worth blogging, this is up there on the list. When thinking what to write about on this special night, I thought, why not reflect back on the email that made this all possible?

It was May 8th. Although I knew acceptance/waitlist/rejection emails were to be sent May 8th, I was confident (and i mean 100% confident) that I knew the result – rejected (or by some miracle, waitlisted). UBC was my first choice medical school, but I had already accepted that I would never get in, no one ever gets in, it is the med school with out of province stats from hell. So there I was May 8th, relaxed at work periodically checking my email for my rejection letter.

11:02 am- the email

Casually I open it, “Congratulations!”. Wait WHAT?!? After reading only the first word everything froze. ‘Congratulations’ only means one thing…

Still in a state of complete numbness I skimmed to key words to confirm my interpretation was accurate. But wait….this cannot be accurate, I couldn’t have gotten in….That was when I texted my dad and forwarded him the email. AM I MISSING SOMETHING?!?!?!

I used to always imagine what I would do if I got an acceptance email. In my head I would post on facebook, maybe text my ex (for a little “take that suckaaa”) and then skip off in a state of complete joy and bliss to celebrate with friends. BUT NO, that was not what happened.

Ok, I admit, I did post on facebook and it got a victoriously large number of likes, but the other things…not so much. I felt numb and sick to my stomach, for the remainder of the day my body opted to not eat and stare at a white wall. Why??? Because I was terrified. I was so scared that something was wrong or would go wrong, that the email they sent me was a mistake or that I would screw up meeting one of the acceptance requirements or that I would become terminally ill over the summer or that anything that could go wrong, would go wrong. All I knew is I had just received a letter that changed everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, and I was terrified that someone (or something) would take it away from me.

Thankfully no one took it from me. Almost 4 months later and I am still accepted to UBC medical school and as of tomorrow I will officially be a first year medical student.  🙂

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